Offensive freelance writer stereotypes – which one are you?
Prepare to be mildly offended and slightly amused!* I’ve compiled a short list of freelance writer stereotypes for you to disagree with, laugh at, and shoehorn yourself into.
Scroll down and descend into outrage.
Are you wearing vintage clothing deliberately chosen for its ugliness? Is your haircut an ironic throwback to the 90’s? Is that a fountain pen I see next to your vegan organic charcoal latte? Holy shit, dude. You’re a Millennial hipster.
Ultra-cool branding agencies and startups love you because you’re on the same vibe. You’re such an early adopter that you probably used and discarded the client’s tech before they even invented it. So whatever.
The pay rent parent
‘Pay rent’ parents go freelance so they can take care of the kids while they take care of business. If you’ve perfected the art of single-handedly typing a blog post while jiggling a sleeping infant or fielding client calls while doing the school run, this is probably you.
No one knows how you find enough hours in the day (secret time machine?) and no one can rock a baby food-stained shirt with the same ballsy finesse.
Compliance? Nailed it. Governance? Ate it for breakfast, mate. Current HR affairs? Love that shit. You’re all over those corporates like a cheap suit and they can’t get enough of you.
Corporate geeks act as a voice for more serious-minded organisations. They love a good white paper, write the shit outta PowerPoint presentations and can knock out a report in record time. You put the ‘power’ in ‘power suit’, baby.
Socialising is ballache, isn’t it? Life is so much better when you can stay at home, comfy in your sweats, and just get the job done with minimal contact. Online ordering is your idea of heaven (because shopping is a horrific experience) and networking is for try-hards. You’re all about creating an empire from the private safety of your den.
You worked your way up through the copywriting ranks to become the baddest MF there is. So much so, no company can hold you permanently. The only option is freelance life because your rep demands its independence. Your opinion is gold. Your creations are solid. Dude…you’re an effing untameable powerhouse!
Which stereotype best represents you? Are there any you think should have been included? Comment below and share!
*Please don’t punch me, bro. I’m just joshin’.