When I make a mistake, the world ends.

At least, that’s how it feels.

This article was inspired by a recent fuck up of mine. As a perfectionist and perpetual people pleaser, any mistake sends me into panic mode. I lose all rationality; my heart starts hammering and I’m overcome with self-loathing. Sure, I fixed things quickly and no harm was done, but that didn’t stop me from spiralling!

So, please consider this blog post as a comforting chat, sitting here ready in case you ever need it!

Let’s begin phase 1…

Phase 1: handle the shit*

Okay, so you done goofed. We all have at some point, so let’s not dwell on it right now.

Instead, let’s find comfort in the fact you’ve given yourself the (unwanted) opportunity to problem solve in a crisis.

First: take a moment to ground yourself — flapping around in a panic with a racing heart isn’t going to help.

Take a few deep breaths and ground yourself by planting your mitts firmly on a stable surface in front of you. I find that when I place my hands on my desk, I can bring myself into the present moment and refocus. Maybe it’ll work for you, too?

Second: problems feel worse when they’re your own, so let’s pretend this is someone else’s crisis. What would you tell them to do?

Third: The most important thing here is not to pussy out or hide from the issue. Tackle it head on and get that shit done.

Phase 2: talk yourself down

Now that disaster has been averted or remedied, here’s a soothing balm for your brain.

If you’re anything like me, you’ll be left with a lingering ickiness which won’t go away. This oughta take the edge off…

What’s the worst outcome?

This is a tactic I usually reserve for times when I’m too scared to take a leap on something, but it also works here.

If things have gone sideways, I like to think about how much worse it could get or how much worse it could have been.

Because what would happen then? I’m sure if you sit down and really think about the worst, you’ll find it isn’t as bad as you thought. On the off chance it is as bad, I’m willing to bet you could cook up a solution if you had to. You could handle it.

What’s the impact on the rest of your life?

You are not your job and you are not your work.

Your career is one small facet of what makes you fucking amazing.

If you happen to make a mistake or fail at something, it doesn’t mean you’re a total piece of crap. It means you had a stumble.

In the grand scheme of your life, this is a small and insignificant blip.

Everyone fucks up once in a while

Look, I know it’s cliché as fuck, but it’s true. No matter how hard you strive to be perfect, there are some things which are simply out of your control. Sometimes you get stuck in a Kobayashi Maru, ya know?

I know you want to be perfect and always get it right, but that shit ain’t life, bro.

Life is pure chaos and control is an illusion.

You have to accept that you’re human and you’re going to fuck up once in a while. Which leads me to my next point…

Everyone who matters still loves you

Don’t know about you, but the love of my close ones is the ultimate remedy.

My inner circle were chosen for their candour, their authenticity and their inherent goodness.

If my fuck up isn’t a big deal to them, then it isn’t a big deal period.

As long as I still have their respect, love and trust, then I know I haven’t done anything major or world-ending.

And to be honest, that’s the most important thing.

*Lol.

When shit goes tits up: an article to help you deal with crappy days