Uncork this secret potion and take a big swig, my guy. This is the bottled confidence you wish you had to hand every time you pick up a client call or send off a pitch.

Your fairy goth mother has arrived with some super easy tips to boost that ole confidence sky high.

This blog post is inspired by a nice message I got in my Twitter DMs late last year from an unbelievably sweet woman.

I was massively touched but massively bamboozled. How’s it possible to bestow so much confidence on someone else when my own confidence is rock bottom most of the time?

Oh, the bitter irony!

So here’s the dirt on how to get confident in a pinch. Use it to give yourself a boost, a pep talk and a lil brain hug.

Follow people who empower and inspire you

I mean…duh.

This sounds like the world’s most obvious point, but I’m willing to bet your timeline is still littered with people who make you feel shite.

Make a conscious effort to recognise the people and the messages that make you feel bad, then put your ‘unfollow finger’ to good use. If you don’t want to lose the contact, you can put people on ‘mute’ until you feel stronger mentally.

Start making Twitter lists, so you’re only seeing things from folk who inspire you. Go on a scouting mission and root out new people who energise you.

You’ll be amazed at how much better social media makes you feel after you’ve had a good clear out!

Give it a name

Here’s a tactic I learned in counselling; next time that little voice pops into your head and tells you how crap you are, isolate it and give it a name. Like Dennis or Shania (you get the picture).

Every time Shania drops in to neg you, take a minute to acknowledge her. She’s there to protect you, after all. Then take a deep breath and tell her (ever so kindly) to fuck off.

Train into your weaknesses

Rather than fretting over your perceived lack of skills or experience, why not just invest in some training? If there’s an area of the job that you don’t feel great at and it’s wrecking your confidence, book out time every week to train on it. Do your research and hone the skill until it doesn’t bother you anymore.

Boom, baby.

This is your life

Just like the TV show, this exercise involves you taking a retrospective look at your achievements over the years.

Real freelance confidence is built on the foundations of real achievements. Go back through your portfolio and your bookkeeping and pick out all the sick jobs and clients you’ve scored.

If you base your self worth on the next thing, and the next, and the next, you’ll never find satisfaction.

Don’t play yourself — take a look behind and admire the view! Look how far you’ve come.

Throw yourself into the deep end

Aight, peach. I’m about to give you one of life’s hardest truths — if you don’t go out and get shit for yourself, you’ll probably never ever get it.

Working on the ‘don’t ask, don’t get’ theory, you’re going to have to do a few things that scare you if you’re going to get traction in your freelance career. Test your own boundaries, gently push yourself out of your comfort zone. If you find yourself resisting a pitch or fretting over a job application, ask yourself why.

My logic is: if you don’t go for it, you have a 100% chance of missing out. If you do go for it, you have a 50% chance of not getting it.

Your odds have improved already!

Don’t dismiss achievements and praise

Before I lecture you on this, I need to get better at it myself!

Next time someone gives you great feedback or compliments your work, actually stop and listen to it. Let it sink in!

You’ll be tempted to brush it off or be super humble but fuck it. Bask in that glory! You earned it.

Final thought

Although a blog post from your very own fairy goth mother should be enough to bring your confidence back to full power, counselling with a professional is a great idea. Especially if you find yourself plagued by self-doubt and negative self-talk all the time.

As someone who’s been through therapy (twice, nonetheless), I couldn’t recommend it more.

Remember that your self confidence shouldn’t rest entirely on your business success. When you tie your sense of self worth to something as temporary and changeable as business, you’ll inevitably lose it when that thing goes away.

You fuel your own confidence, mate.

Skyrocket your freelance confidence in 6 (unbelievably) easy steps…