Pandemic imposter syndrome anxiety (it's a thing)

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I don’t know about you, but ever since this pandemic hit, my imposter syndrome has been running rampant.

After giving it some thought, I’ve decided this isn't any old imposter syndrome — it’s Pandemic Imposter Syndrome Anxiety. A term I’ve just completely invented but one which probably does already exist somewhere already.

You might be wondering if you’ve had it, too.

Perhaps you’re damn sure.

Either way, here are some of the ugly-ass symptoms of Pandemic Imposter Syndrome Anxiety and how I’ve managed to kill them off (mostly).

Hopefully they’ll work for you too! x

Symptom: client mind reading abilities

I first realised I could read my clients’ minds when I received a request for amendments on a draft I’d sent. I immediately knew what they were thinking: this chick is shit.

I mean, sure — revisions on a first draft are completely normal. But not in a pandemic. If you’re in a pandemic, revisions mean you’re no good.

From here I started to postulate exactly what they thought of me. Rather than recognising it as a symptom of imposter syndrome anxiety I took it as concrete fact.

Solution

Recognise that these are stories you’re telling yourself. Almost all first drafts need revisions and if a client really thought you were shit, they wouldn’t hire you.

You aren’t a mind reader, babe. You’re just an average Joe who isn’t shit at writing.

Symptom: you can predict a ghoster before they’ve ghosted

You’ve submitted a draft and don’t hear back for a few hours. On a normal day, this would be…normal.

On a pandemic imposter syndrome day, this is definitely ghosting. They’re never going to come back and ghosting is a nice way for them to let you down. Because coming out and telling someone they suck is awkward.

Solution

Chill the fuck out. Everyone has a lot on right now and if you need to chase with an email, that’s fine. You’re probably too busy to notice in normal circumstances but the lack of work during pandemic days just has you hyped up.

Symptom: social media sickness

A normal day’s scrolling through social media would have you beaming and tapping that like button whenever you see a freelance colleague doing well. A pandemic day’s scrolling reveals the truth: everyone else is doing amazingly and you’re the only one feeling the strain.

Solution

Stay away from social media for a while. Rather than getting salty and losing the ability to enjoy the success of your peers, just moonwalk outta there until you’re feeling stronger.

Symptom: developing an allergy to decent rates

Have you noticed that potential clients are reaching out for work, but only seem to want to pay £100 a day? You know why that is, don’t you? You aren’t worth those top dollar rates.

You’re a discount bitch.

Obviously your rates were honoured before the pandemic but that’s beside the point, isn’t it? You’ve somehow become so shite at your job, you’re only worth pocket change.

Solution

I realise this may sound privileged, but if you can say no, then say no.

When you spend ages dicking around with these low paid jobs, you’re missing out on the opportunity to work for your normal (decent) rates or pitching for the good shit.

Also, if you take these stingy jobs, you’re only adding to your imposter syndrome anxiety because your actions affirm you aren’t worth much.

And we both know you are.

Symptom: aversion to email-opening

You ever get that thing where you avoid opening an email because you’re absolutely sure that it’ll say one of the following:

a) This draft is gash. Please do the whole thing again.

b) We don’t think you’re good enough for this job.

c) That rate is too expensive and we’re going to hire someone more affordable.

d) Oh my god…you’ve just made a horrible mistake and it’s ruined everything.

You know it’ll be one of these four options because as well as mind reading, you’ve also developed the pandemic ability of premonition. Protect yourself and leave it unopened. It’s for the best.

solution

I can’t tell you know many times I’ve avoided opening something because of my certainty that the news would be bad. Most of the time, it’s the complete opposite.

Just open the damn email, peach.

Share your pandemic imposter syndrome anxiety symptoms and experiences with me on Twitter and together we can take a healthy dose of reassurance. x