Empath's guide to freelancing: how to crack on without cracking up

Image via Og Mpango

Do you ever find yourself catching someone else’s emotion as if it were the common cold? Are you deeply affected by the problems of others? Maybe you fall victim to burnout more than most?

You, my friend, could be an empath.

Those of us with a crazy strong sense of empathy can struggle in the freelance world. And other worlds too, come to think of it.

“Empathy is an emotion or state of being that allows one person to connect emotionally and cognitively with another person.” …or so says Medical News Today.

When your empathy is off the charts or left unchecked, you run the risk of absorbing everything. You soak like a sponge in second-hand emotion and can’t wring yourself out.

And that’s some heavy shit right there.

Don’t worry pal, I got you. Here are some freelance tips from one hyper empathetic individual to another.

1) Be mindful where you put your energy

I don’t know about you, but I spend a lot of energy worrying about a) other people’s problems, b) social confrontations that might happen, and c) unpleasant news.

It’s exhausting, isn’t it?

So here’s a good thing to remember: the things you feed are the things that grow.

Try and put that same energy into the people, projects and emotions that make you feel happy and fulfilled. Make those the things that grow and flourish.

If you fritter that energy away on fretting about pointless shit, it only gets bigger and more worrisome in your mind, until all your energy is gone and you’ve achieved nothing but upset.

Got a client who makes you feel like a creative genius? Ask to take more work on, feed into the relationship and show them they’re valued. Got someone who consistently makes you feel like an incompetent tit? Might be time to fire away.

2) Steer clear of toxic work cultures

…yeah, no duh.

Seriously, though. A toxic work culture isn’t always obvious right away — sometimes it’s like being a lobster in a pot of water as it creeps towards the boil. You don’t realise you’re buggered until it’s too late.

Make sure you’re checking in with yourself about how you feel going into certain environments. If you get a sense of dread, might be a good shout to ask yourself why you feel that way. Get to the root of the issue and be honest with yourself.

I once had to walk away from a very lucrative client contract because the environment left me feeling dreadful. The paycheck wasn’t worth the worry! As a freelancer, you have the freedom to say no. So use it, bruh!

3) Make feedback acceptance your life’s work

I’ve already written a blog post on feedback acceptance, so if you want super fine details on the ins and outs, head here. Otherwise, I’ll keep this short and sweet: client feedback is a critique of the work, not the person.

They might be your words, yes. But you wrote them according to a brief and if they’re wrong, perhaps the brief wasn’t quite right?

Also…it’s rare for anyone to nail a job on the first try. Copy always needs shaping and adjusting. To think you’re going to smash it right out of the gate is expecting too much of yourself.

Next time you get negative feedback, remember that the client isn’t tearing into you as a person. You’re a professional, so toughen up that skin and put the feedback into action. Don’t let it knock you, mate! They wouldn’t be working with you if they didn’t think you were great!

Worse case scenario, go back and look through all the great feedback you’ve had in the past and give yourself a little positivity boost.

4) Fill your work social media channels with people who uplift and inspire

I love the online freelance community. Without them, I truly don’t know where I’d be. It’s filled with my biggest and best cheerleaders, peers who inspire me, and people I’m genuinely proud to stand beside. However…in every group of people, you’ll always get the little cluster of knobheads who like to neg on everyone’s good vibe.

Pay attention to how certain people make you feel and don’t be afraid to block, unfollow, or mute. Whatever you do, don’t feed into it! Resist the temptation to bite back or wade into the argument because you’ll only be pouring more of your emotional energy into a situation that doesn’t serve you.

Try making Twitter lists of only nice people. That should do the trick. You can also remove apps from your phone or limit usage to dedicated times of the day to stop yourself from falling into doomscroll oblivion.

It’s just a thought.

5) Use your empathy as a superpower, not a super weakness

If you leave this article with anything, let it be this.

For years and years, I’ve seen my empathy as a weakness. I can’t stand in a crowd without getting overwhelmed. I find it hard to untangle my own emotions from the emotions of others.

What effing ball-ache, eh?

So I chose to start looking at it as a superpower instead.

Great copywriting hinges on your ability to see things from someone else’s perspective. So really, it’s a gift! Take the energy you’re spending on the negative aspects of empathy and turn them towards this instead — your mental health and your bank balance will thank you for it.

When all else fails, I listen to this track by David Hasselhoff. 👉

Press play…I dare you. 😏