Freelancing through the bad days: coping tactics from an angry little woman

I had the idea for this post during a particularly aggressive bout of PMS. I knew I had a bad attitude when I sat down to my desk and no amount of calm breathing and grounding techniques were gonna cut it.

Every email annoyed me. Perfectly reasonable feedback requests seemed bothersome. Scrolling through my social media feed was ammo for bitterness.

So, I was forced to think up all sorts of stratagem for my bad attitude and non-worky mindset. How could I calm myself and get my usual good-natured vibe back?

Here’s what I came up with…

y u triggered, bro?

Let’s start this whole thing with a bit of compassion for yourself. Why are you feeling out of sorts? If you can understand what’s set you off, you can work through the issue with yourself.

Has someone triggered you? Chances are, they don’t even know you’re annoyed. Have a word with them, adult to adult. If a situation has irked you, try making a list of all the practical things you can do to help yourself, while trying to let go of the things you know you can’t change about it. Besides, actively doing something will give you somewhere to put all that fiery rage energy.

If it’s something biological, like PMS or a mental illness, then you’re due a little extra compassion for yourself. We can’t control our bodies but we can control our actions and words. Be nice to yourself and let others around you know that it’s a bit of an off day (just so they don’t take your mood personally).

To avoid belittling serious mental illness with trite mindfulness, I’m going to leave a link to the Mind mental health charity here. If you’re dealing with serious shit, you need serious support, not my online prattling!

ASMR backing tracks

Anyone who knows me will know how much I adore ASMR. As a naturally anxious person, it’s my lifeline when I need to calm and unwind.

Putting an ASMR track on in the background while I work allows my brain to settle down and slip into a calm state while I focus on my tasks. I also love a good binaural meditation track for work focus.

Here are a few of my favourites to use during the work day…

Stop looking at social media

Ban yourself for the whole day if needs be. The temptation to spew your bad mood out into the world will be too great and I have no respect for people who put their negative emotions onto others. The negativity should stop with you — don’t pass it on!

I also have a tendancy to be bitter when scrolling through my feed. If I can’t read a simple post without being a cow, then I should probably get the hell outta dodge until my mindset is right.

Social media is full of triggers when you’re feel cruddy, so don’t annoy yourself further. Close that shit down and save it for another day!

Aromatherapy

This may be a little too ‘woo-woo’ for some, but hear me out. I have a specific candle I like to light in the evenings. My brain associates that particular smell with rest and calm, so I make use of the association by lighting the same candle when I feel stressed.

You can find my candle here, if you’re curious.

You could also add some essential oil drops to a burner or diffuser in your office. If you don’t have either of these, pop a few drops into a cup of boiling water and inhale (but DON’T DRINK IT!).

The best oils to relieve rage and angst are lavender, bergamot, and neroli!

Step away

Get out into the kitchen or garden and stop looking at your screen for a minute. Might be that you need a few more breaks than normal today — that’s fine. You’re having an off-day, so be cool to yourself.

Make a cup of tea (preferably chamomile or something equally calming) or have a comforting snack (chocolate is scientifically proven to help).

Let yourself decompress regularly so you don’t blow a fuse.

Give some of these a try next time you’re raging and let me know how you got on!
You can find me on Twitter here.

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